God's We Don't Believe In

[Dardedar]

[The Physicist]

I see that Andy is not on the list...I suppose atheist believe in Andy?

[Dardedar]

DAR
Andy? What kind of ridiculous unorthodox god is that? Sounds pagan! I definitely don't believe in "Andy." Well, unless he gives out free stuff. Then I'll believe in him, maybe.

[RobertMadewell]

I believe in Andy! He's from that good old hymn In The Garden.

Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me,
Andy tells me I am His own;
Andy's joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

There's your proof of Andy's existance.

[Savonarola]

What the hell, people? God's name is Arthur. But He's friendly, so He goes by Art.

Our Father, who Art in heaven...

No, wait, it's something else:

Hallowed by thy name.

Damn religious people. Can't make up their minds.

[The Physicist]

I don't care what God's name is so long as he stops trying to raise my ebenezer....

[The Physicist]

DAR
Andy? What kind of ridiculous unorthodox god is that? Sounds pagan! I definitely don't believe in "Andy." Well, unless he gives out free stuff. Then I'll believe in him, maybe.

He is handing out free hovinds. If you would like one, and hey why not they are free, you should drop by:

http://www.freehovind.com

[Doug]

He is handing out free hovinds.

DOUG
You get what you pay for!

[Doug]

DOUG
I noticed that YHWH, the God of the Bible, is not on the list. So "we" must refer to Americans as a whole, not "we" the freethinkers?

[Savonarola]

I noticed that YHWH, the God of the Bible, is not on the list.

"Yahweh" is at the bottom.

[Doug]

"Yahweh" is at the bottom.

DOUG
That is not possible. Fundamentalists claim that his is "the name ABOVE all names"!

[Dardedar]

DAR
But the Bible also says:

"And, behold, there are last which shall be first, and there are first which shall be last." Luke 13:30

[RobertMadewell]

God's real name is Jealous.

For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
Exodus 34:14.

I picked up a free hovind once but my pet dinosaur with a cedar tree tail ate it.


Funny that Zedek is on that list. Because Zedek may actually be one of the pagan gods that "evolved" into God. In Genesis 14:18 Abraham makes a pact with a king that many christians today believe is a pre-New Testament Jesus Christ. His name was Melchizedek. It's usually translated to "King of Righteousness", but could be translated as "Chosen of Zedek". Whether or not this is true really doesn't matter too much. God is a mish mash of several traditions. There is even a near eastern God called Yahu which could possibly be spelled YHWH. El Elyon ("most high God" in KJV english) is also mentioned in that verse and it was a title given to many "king of the pantheon" type gods, not just YHWH.

[Dardedar]

DAR
From a list I am on:

****
Since we do not know the proper vowels for the big
guy's name but only the consonants YHWH (all that
was written in ancient Hebrew), Larry Gonick in the
"Cartoon History of the Universe" suggests "Yahoo-
Wahoo" might be as good a guess as any.
Then there is his deep and profound statement:
"I am that I am" - Yahweh (aka YahooWahoo)
Course we all know that other fictional creature put
it slightly differently:
"I yam what I yam" (Popeye)

[RobertMadewell]

Darrel, how about this, "Yee Ha! Woo Hoo!"

Or this, "Yo! Hey! Wha?"

Millions of people in the world worship an ancient god, and they have no idea what his name is, because ancients Jews were too superstitious to write his name down properly. Even when they had the vowels, they used the vowels from a different word (adonai) so that someone wouldn't accidently say God's name out loud. Though, maybe these preists did that because the vowels were lost to antiquity because of the lack of vowels in earlier writing systems. So, they came up with the "too holy to pronouce" explaination as to why no one knows God's name anymore.

P.S. There's a Futurama movie where a planet sized creature from another universe falls in love with humanity and offers them a heaven like existence on his planet sized body. The name they give for him is Yeevo, which could be a pronunciation of the Tetragrammaton.

[Dardedar]

DAR
So if we keep trying we might accidentally end up blaspheming in this thread.

D.

[Doug]

Even when they had the vowels, they used the vowels from a different word (adonai) so that someone wouldn't accidently say God's name out loud. Though, maybe these preists did that because the vowels were lost to antiquity because of the lack of vowels in earlier writing systems. So, they came up with the "too holy to pronouce" explaination as to why no one knows God's name anymore.

DOUG
The use of the vowels from "Adonai" to make "Jehovah" is a 16th century invention.

But, hey, this one has his own witnesses! They came by my door this morning with a horribly ill-titled tract called "Wouldn't You Like to Know the Truth?" implying that they could tell me some theological truths. The worst part is that the woman doing this had her little girl with her and she was making the kid hand the sheet over to the people who answer the door.

(Speaking of child abuse...)

Here's what they're spreading.

They state:

WHY THE QUESTION ARISES: We live in a world full of cruelty and injustice. Many religions teach that the sufferings we experience are God’s will.

WHAT THE BIBLE TEACHES: God never causes what is wicked.

Apparently they haven't read:
Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

[Dardedar]

Apparently they haven't read:
Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

DAR
The dishonest and unscholarly JW Bible (New World Translation) which has no influence or respect outside of JW circles, substitutes "calamity" for "evil" in this verse.

D.

[Doug]

Apparently they haven't read:
Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

DAR
The dishonest and unscholarly JW Bible (New World Translation) which has no influence or respect outside of JW circles, substitutes "calamity" for "evil" in this verse.

D.

DOUG
The NIV, also dishonest, has "disaster" instead of "evil." One fundie mentioned this to me one time, as if it would make God a little less monstrous. It didn't.

Some other translations:
Young's Literal Translation (YLT)
"Forming light, and preparing darkness, Making peace, and preparing evil, I [am] Jehovah, doing all these things.'"

NASB
"The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the LORD who does all these."

CEV (Contemporary English Version)
"I create light and darkness, happiness and sorrow. I, the LORD, do all of this."

Note also:
Amos 3:6
"Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?"

Isaiah 31:1-2
"Woe to them that go down to Egypt for help; and stay on horses, and trust in chariots, because they are many; and in horsemen, because they are very strong; but they look not unto the Holy One of Israel, neither seek the LORD! Yet he also is wise, and will bring evil, and will not call back his words: but will arise against the house of the evildoers, and against the help of them that work iniquity."

The Hebrew word is "ra," with Strong's number 07451. (The number used for reference in Strong's concordance.)

King James Word Usage - Total: 663
It is translated as "evil" 442 times, "wickedness" 59 times, "wicked" 25 times, "mischief" 21 times, "hurt" 20 times, "bad" 13 times, with the remainder being even more obscure.

[BraneMatter]

P.S. There's a Futurama movie where a planet sized creature from another universe falls in love with humanity and offers them a heaven like existence on his planet sized body. The name they give for him is Yeevo, which could be a pronunciation of the Tetragrammaton.

So we are just like fleas, then, on some cosmic cocker spaniel...

I can dig it. And Yeevo spelled backwards is the origin of the Yiddish term "O-veey"!