The New War
Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:06 am
Just When You Think It Can't Get Any Stupider:
"In this new kind of war, we must be willing to question the enemy when we pick them up on the battlefield. (Applause.) We have captured people like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who our intelligence community thinks was the mastermind of the September the 11th attacks. When we captured him, I said to the Central Intelligence Agency, why don't we find out what he knows in order to be able to protect America from another attack." --George W. Bush, October 28, 2006
CIA Station, Islamabad, Pakistan. A CIA AGENT enters in a rush.
CIA AGENT: We captured Khalid Sheikh Mohammed!
CIA COMMANDER: That's great news. Now we must do what we've done with all captured enemies in 230 years of American history: refuse to question him.
CIA AGENT: Sir, permission to give Khalid Sheikh Mohammed a footrub? As has been done for all captured enemies in American history?
CIA COMMANDER: Permission granted, son! Also, if he mentions any upcoming attacks on America, put in your specially-designed CIA earplugs so you don't hear anything!
UNDERLING enters.
UNDERLING: Sir! The president has suggested that we find out what Khalid Sheikh Mohammed knows!
CIA COMMANDER: I don't understand. You mean -- the president has suggested that rather than actively making sure we don't learn anything from high-level enemies when we capture them, we should actually try to find out what they know?
UNDERLING: Yes sir! He says this is a new kind of war!
CIA COMMANDER: Dear god, that's brilliant! Only a maverick like our president could have conceived of such a bold scheme!
***
Posted by Jonathan Schwarz at November 1, 2006 10:55 AM
link
"In this new kind of war, we must be willing to question the enemy when we pick them up on the battlefield. (Applause.) We have captured people like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who our intelligence community thinks was the mastermind of the September the 11th attacks. When we captured him, I said to the Central Intelligence Agency, why don't we find out what he knows in order to be able to protect America from another attack." --George W. Bush, October 28, 2006
CIA Station, Islamabad, Pakistan. A CIA AGENT enters in a rush.
CIA AGENT: We captured Khalid Sheikh Mohammed!
CIA COMMANDER: That's great news. Now we must do what we've done with all captured enemies in 230 years of American history: refuse to question him.
CIA AGENT: Sir, permission to give Khalid Sheikh Mohammed a footrub? As has been done for all captured enemies in American history?
CIA COMMANDER: Permission granted, son! Also, if he mentions any upcoming attacks on America, put in your specially-designed CIA earplugs so you don't hear anything!
UNDERLING enters.
UNDERLING: Sir! The president has suggested that we find out what Khalid Sheikh Mohammed knows!
CIA COMMANDER: I don't understand. You mean -- the president has suggested that rather than actively making sure we don't learn anything from high-level enemies when we capture them, we should actually try to find out what they know?
UNDERLING: Yes sir! He says this is a new kind of war!
CIA COMMANDER: Dear god, that's brilliant! Only a maverick like our president could have conceived of such a bold scheme!
***
Posted by Jonathan Schwarz at November 1, 2006 10:55 AM
link